I don't remember feeling very sad when my grandfather died. I knew that I should, but there was a big part of me that just kept thinking at least he's not suffering any more. It wasn't until the funeral, when everyone started sharing their memories of him, and I started remembering my time with him, that I finally realized what I had lost. Then it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized then why I wasn't initially sad: he didn't die all at once. My grandfather died slowly over a period of many years - so slowly that I hadn't even noticed.

It wasn't quite the same with Mom. This time I was very much aware of what was happening. I felt the pain every time she lost her ability to do something and with every downward slide of her health. She told me once I feel like I'm slipping away. I can't even imagine what that must be like. Dementia is a horrible disease, and taking care of someone suffering through it is very difficult. Having said that, I don't regret it for a moment, and I know that given the chance, all of us that took care of her would make the same choice again without any hesitation.

At this point, I want to acknowledge my wife (Pam) and daughter (Elle). The things they both did for Mom through all of this are nothing short of amazing. They didn't do it because they had to; they didn't do it because anyone asked them to; they did it because they loved Mom every bit as much as I did. I know how much Mom appreciated both of them because she told me on several occasions. Now I want to say for the record how much I appreciate everything they did.

Even towards the end, I have many fond memories of Mom being with us. Through it all, I'm happy to say she never forgot who we were, and even as her moments of clarity dwindled, it was obvious that she was still in there somewhere. She liked to make us laugh, and even towards the end, she was more concerned about us than herself. One of the last coherent things she said to me was Everything is going to be OK. Even though I know she was right, I can't help but think that things will never be quite as good as when she was still with us.